UNTRUSTING PAST
by REVAMPED19
Summary: When a traumatic event changes Logan Mitchell's outlook on life will anyone be able to change his new outlook on life or will he go down a destructive path? Kogan / with chance for Jarlos
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**FIRST FIC – SO BARE WITH ME IF IT SUCKS**

**DISCLAIMER – I DO NOT OWN BTR OR ANY OF ITS MEMBERS**

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Logan Mitchells' alarm clock sounded signaling the start of the first day at his new school.

Logan Mitchell had always been a quiet individual who could be found reading a book, studying for upcoming tests, or doing what he loved most, ice skating. Logan knew at an early age he was different from other guys in the sense he had always been attracted to men instead of women. It's not something he was proud or wanted anyone to know, but it was something he wasn't going to try and change since he had already lost so much to be who he was.

Logan didn't want to be attending a new school. However, he knew that after what happened at his old school there was no way he could stay, and even if he wanted to his mother wouldn't hear of it.

FLASHBACK

_It was during Logan's freshman P.E. class when his life began to be turned upside down. He had just finished changing, when all of a sudden he was pinned up against the lockers. He winced as he opened his eyes to find Jett Stetson shirtless, and only inches away from his face. _

_Logan had always had a crush on Jett, his beautiful blue eyes, shiny brown hair, bright white smile, and the never ending muscles that seemed to extend from every part of his body. Logan knew that Jett was straight, and that his crush would always be that just a crush… or so he thought, but at the moment he was unsure of what was going on._

_"__Hey there sexy." Jett spoke slowly and in a deep sexual voice blowing out heat onto Logan's neck as he spoke._

_"__W-w-what are you doing?" Logan stuttered out as he slightly began shaking underneath of the muscled teen pinning him down._

_"__I just want to get to know you baby, you're just so cute." Jett continued to whisper getting closer and closer closing the space between the two._

_"__B-but you're dating Jo, your s-straight you have a g-g-girlfriend." Logan squeaked, squirming still trying to break free without any signs of escape._

_"__She doesn't mean anything Logan, I've always admired you. I know you've admired me too baby, don't you want me?" _

_Logan couldn't take it anymore. Having Jett there only inches in between their bodies, he could feel his body heating up, and he could feel his erection growing fast and making him uncomfortable. Logan closed his eyes, puckered his lips and began to lean forward to meet Jetts lips._

_Not even seconds after closing his eyes he could hear the laughter coming from around the corner, and saw the flashes coming from the phones that all of Jett's friends were holding. He struggled but found that he could still not move as Jett held him down laughing himself and making kissy faces aimed at Logan._

_"__Get off me!" screamed Logan as he began to sob uncontrollably _

_"__What's the matter baby, I thought you wanted me?" Jett said, laughing manically_

_All Logan could do was cry as his tormentors took pictures, and insulted him with a variety of names ranging from homo to fairy boy. When it was all over Logan just lay there crying … a broken mess. It was that moment in time when he vowed that he would not trust anyone ever again._

_Everything had changed after that day. The videos and pictures that had been taken were everywhere on the internet. When he arrived home his parents were waiting in the living room as he walked through the front door. His mother was crying, while his father had the most disapproving angered look he had ever seen. _

_"__YOU'RE FUCKING DISGUSTING YOU LITTLE FAG! "Seethed his father looking at his son like he amounted to nothing._

_"__D-dad" Logan began holding back tears._

_But before he could get any further his father cut him off "DON'T CALL ME THAT, YOU DON'T HAVE A FATHER … I DIDN'T RAISE A FAG" his father continued to yell. _

_Logan felt as though time had stopped as tears began to fall, and he watched his father storm past him grabbing suitcases that Logan didn't even notice walking in before he stormed out the door. He could tell by the immense slam of the door that he would never see his father again._

_Logan now already on the verge of complete and utter defeat slowly raised his head to look at the woman standing before him. "Mom?" Logan asked in voice cracking and almost coming out as a whisper._

_"__Oh baby come here." His mom cried._

_Almost falling into his mother's embrace shattered, and broken Logan could barely speak that came between the sobs. "Please don't leave me." Was all the Logan could say repeating it over and over almost as if they were the only words he knew. "Never, never honey. I love you and am happy as long as you are. You are who you are and I wouldn't have you any other way. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. We will get through this, we are going to get away and put all this behind us." His mother said with the most tender love and care knowing that anything less would be sure to break the tender boy that was in her arms._

_END FLASH BACK _

Logan groaned reaching over to hit the snooze button on his alarm clock not wanting to move or deal with the day ahead of him. The moment he started to drift back to sleep his bedroom door nudged open.

"Honey, you have to wake up. Don't want to miss your first day of school." Rang Logan's mother's voice from the hallway.

"Yes I do. " Logan grumbled into his pillow.

Just then Logan squinted his eyes at the sudden burst of light from inside the room. "Mom, why?" Logan complained after his mom turned on the light entering the room. "Honey, I know you don't want to go, but you don't have a choice. Just give this school a chance let them get to know you for you." After she spoke these words Logan sat up in his bed. "NO, I'm not going back to that, I don't want them to know who I really am. This new school is my chance to reinvent myself, and I don't intend on letting my old nerdy self ruin my chance at a new beginning." Knowing that she would not be able to sway Logan's mind all she could do was say "ok well just get dressed and come down for breakfast, but don't take too long you still have to go the school and check in at the office."

Rolling out of bed Logan took a shower then stood at his closet deciding on what to wear. At first he decided on a pair of khakis and a sweater vest, then after a look in the mirror he ran downstairs to find his mother.

"Mom do you still have the boxes of clothes that Tyler left here before leaving for college?" Logan asked with anticipation in his voice.

"Yes sweetie they are out in the garage, but what do you want with your brother's old clothes?" His mother answered looking at him quizzically.

"Thanks mom!" Logan said already exiting out the side door on his way to the garage.

As Logan found the boxes he was looking for he began rummaging through the boxes on a mission to find something suitable for the new image he was hoping to make. Finding what he was looking for he closed up the remaining boxes and entered the house heading back up to his room to change.

Moments later he looked into the mirror. Now dressed in skinny jeans and a white tee, he decided there was one more thing that he needed. Going back to the pile of clothes he had retrieved he put on a black leather jacket then returned to the mirror giving himself a full look over.

Deciding that his new outfit was a good start to his new life he grabbed his backpack and headed down stairs to start his day.

"Wow, you look completely different it's like you're not even the same Logan anymore." Logan's mother spoke as she caught a glimpse of her son coming down the stairs.

"That's because I don't want to be." He replied in a cold voice as he walked out the door.

As Logan approached the school he took a deep breath as he opened the door and stepped inside. As he made his way to the front desk he could feel eyes on him from everywhere, and whispers among the kids lingering the halls.

As he approached the lady sitting behind the desk he stopped and looked to his side to see what Logan could only describe as the most gorgeous human being he had ever seen. Blond hair that flowed like silk, a smile that could brighten the darkest room, and the most amazing green eyes he had ever seen.

"Young man, young man?" The lady behind the desk called out in an almost concerned voice.

"O-oh sorry." Logan said turning his attention back to the lady that was smiling at him.

"What can I do for you?" She asked.

"My name is Logan Mitchell I just moved here, and I was told to check in to get my schedule." He replied

"Just one second. Yes here you are. Let me print out your schedule and I will call a student up here to show you to your classes and help you with anything you need."

"Thanks" Logan replied still not enthused about being here.

Moments later the woman's voice could be heard over the intercom "Kendall Knight to the front desk, Kendall Knight to the front desk."

As he waited for his guide Logan closed his eyes and could only think of how much he wanted to be anywhere but back in a school.

As he heard the lady explaining to someone who he was and that they were to show him around Logan opened his eyes to see the same blond beauty which had caught his eye earlier.

The only thing he could think was that things were going to be harder than he expected.


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**THANKS TO ****CHEW-A-STRAW ****FOR BEING MY FIRST REVIEW :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BTR OR ANY OF ITS MEMBERS**

**CHAPTER 2**

**KENDALL'S POV**

I stood there half listening to our secretary explaining what my duties as a guide for the day were, but I was also being distracted by the boy standing next to me. He was just a few inches shorter than me, with a small slender frame, short brown hair, and the most mesmerizing brown eyes that I had ever seen.

As our secretary finished she handed me his schedule, I looked over it and saw that we had 4 out of 7 classes together. Finished reading the paper, I then turned my attention to the cute teen that stood there with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Hi, I'm Kendall Knight, you must be Logan!" Kendall said in a warm voice, and with a bright smile.

"Yeah, who else is it going to be I'm the only other person standing here." Logan said in an annoyed voice.

"Well let's get you to your first class." Kendall said ignoring Logan's harsh tone, just thinking it was from the nerves of starting a new school as they began walking down the hall to their first class.

As we walked into the classroom it was still fairly empty as the warning bell had not even rang quite yet. "We don't have assigned seats but you're welcome to sit by me." He continued walking past as though he hadn't even heard me, then took a seat in the opposite corner at the back of the room.

As I stared back at him for a moment I wondered why he was so distant and eager to be alone. It was then that I decided that no matter what it took I was going to get Logan to like me as at least a friend … but I could always hope for more.

**LOGANS POV**

I felt terrible. I had been so harsh towards Kendall when all he was trying to do was be friendly. But in my mind it didn't truly matter, I was not letting my defenses down there was no way I was going to let a repeat of my past occur again.

When the class began I tried my best to focus on what the teacher was talking about, but this was difficult as I could feel that someone's eyes were always on me. Every time that I looked over I saw Kendall give a slight blush and turn his head back towards the teacher as if he hadn't been staring at me the whole time.

As the bell rang I packed up my things and headed for the door. I barely made it out in to the hall before I heard the sound of someone jogging behind me, and my name being called out.

"Hey Logan wait up." Kendall called catching up to me while he began to slow down. "Where you off to in such a hurry there?" He said

"My next class, where else would I be going." I replied sarcastically

"Well I'm not sure, I just know that your next class is in the opposite direction." He said with a slight chuckle.

"Oh. Well can you show me where it's at?" I asked blushing feeling embarrassed and like a complete idiot

"Of course, that's what I'm here for." Kendall replied.

As we walked down the hallway on our way to my next class I couldn't help but notice that Kendall had not taken his eyes off me the entire time. I kept wondering why he was being so nice, and what was going on in his mind as it looked like he was trying to figure something out. I let the thought pass as we stopped outside of a classroom when he started to talk.

"This is it. I don't have this class with you but I will wait outside once the bell rings to take you to your next class." He said, standing there waiting for me to respond.

"Whatever" I said walking into the classroom and sitting down trying not to think of how my morning was going or the mixed feelings I was having.

**END OF POVS**

Kendall frowned as the boy turned around and walked into the class.

"Kendall! Hey what's up man I haven't seen you in weeks?" Spoke the hyper Latino boy that seemed to appear from out of nowhere.

"Hey Carlos, not much just showing a new student around to his classes." Kendall said in an unenthused voice.

"Don't sound too happy about it. What's wrong did you get stuck with some snob?" Carlos questioned.

"No it's not that, I'm not really sure. I don't know if he's just really nervous about the new school, or what it is he just seems distant and doesn't want anything to do with me no matter how hard that I try." Kendall replied.

"Wow someone finally able to resist the Knight charm. That's a new one." Carlos said chuckling.

"No I'm serious something just doesn't seem right with him, it's almost as if he is hiding something or just doesn't want to be here." Kendall said sounding truly concerned.

"Well I have this class next, who is it? Maybe I can get through and see if I can figure out what's going on, because face it Kendall as charming as you are no one can resist me." Carlos joked with Kendall smiling wide.

"He's right there sitting in the back corner." Kendall pointed.

"Well, no wonder you are so interested in finding out more about him, he's cute. Aww first day of school and our little Kendall already has a crush." Carlos said laughing and wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

"Whatever Los. Just see what you can do, and I'll catch up with you at lunch." Kendall said walking away on the path to his next class.

Carlos walked in and took a seat next to Logan looking over from time to time in an attempt to study the boy sitting next to him. He appeared to be stressed, as well as distracted. As Carlos went to take another glance over he was taken by surprise when Logan turned and began speaking to him in a harsh voice.

"Can I help you? You've been watching me all hour."

"No no I don't need anything I just noticed you were new here. Hi, my name's Carlos."

"Logan Mitchell" he replied.

"Nice to meet you. So where did you transfer from?" Carlos questioned, just trying to make Logan comfortable with small talk.

"That's none of your business!" Logan hissed suddenly going from being stressed to straight angry and annoyed.

"Sorry, didn't mean any harm. So what do you do for fun?" Carlos said trying to change the subject and lighten the mood.

"No offense but I don't know you and you don't need to know anything about me." Logan said turning back forward and continuing to focus on what the teacher was saying.

Carlos wasn't sure what had just happened but he did know one thing, Kendall was right something seemed off about Logan, but he had no idea what it could be.

The bell rang for lunch and each and every student were rushing to their lockers and heading to the cafeteria. Carlos put his belongings in his locker and closed the door to find an almost anxious looking Kendall staring at him.

"So what did you find out?" The blond asked.

"Nothing really, when I started talking and asking questions he got angry and told me to back off. One thing is for sure though you were right Logan Mitchell is definitely hiding something I just don't know what it is." Carlos answered.

"Well thanks for trying, let's not worry about it right now let's just go grab some lunch."

As Kendall and Carlos walked into the cafeteria they glanced around looking for an open seat. "Hey, there he is" Carlos said pointing at an almost empty table all except for Logan, who sat there with his head down eating by himself. "Let's go over and say hi" Kendall suggested.

As they sat down across from Logan they couldn't help from the slight groan and roll of the eyes coming from the annoyed looking teen sharing the table.

"What do you want now?" Logan spat looking up at the two.

"Just wanted to check in and see how you were doing, since I am your guide and all" Kendall answered trying to remain positive.

"Well I didn't ask for a guide, and I'm doing just fine" Logan said huffing out.

Getting annoyed Kendall decided to figure out just what Logan's problem was "Look I don't know how you did things at your old school but we are just trying to be friendly."

"Well again I didn't ask for a guide, and I definitely didn't ask for any friends" Logan seethed getting up and storming out of the cafeteria.

"I don't know what his problem is but I'm going to figure it out, he just doesn't seem like he is the kind of person who would be angry all the time" Kendall said.

"Anyways I'm gonna go practice at the rink tonight, gotta get ready for hockey tryouts. How about you?" Kendall questioned.

"I wish, after a party last week I'm grounded till the end of the month" Carlos replied

"Bummer, sorry dude looks like I'm on my own for the night" Kendall said.

The bell finally rang signaling the end of the day. Logan couldn't wait to get out of the school and just get as far away as he could.

He walked into his house slamming the door before running up to his room and plopping on top of his bed letting out a groan as he thought about everything that had happened. While lying there thinking about his day he was interrupted as his door began to creep open.

"Hey honey, how was your first day of school?" Logan's mother questioned.

"I don't want to talk about it" Logan replied.

"Why not what happened?" His mother continued pushing the question.

"It's just different, they all seemed so …. friendly. It can't be real though people aren't like that, they just want to get me to think they care so they can turn and hurt me again." Logan now spoke sounding weak and scared.

"Oh honey, I know it's hard to trust people after everything that happened. But if you don't get to know other people you won't have any friends or others to talk to" his mother said in a caring voice.

"I still don't know, I just don't know what to do. I think I'm just going to go in town and skate at the rink, try to clear my head a little" Logan said standing.

"Ok that's fine sweetie" his mom replied trying to understand and make sense of what her son was going through.

Logan had been skating ever since he was a little boy and it was always a place where he could relax. He skated around the ice with amazing speed, and grace.

Kendall finished changing into his hockey skates and stepped out of the locker room stopping in place at what he saw. Kendall stood frozen watching as Logan continued to make laps around the rink skating with ease and appearing to be worry free. It was the first time Kendall had seen the teen smiling. After a few more moments he decided to join Logan on the ice and try to connect with him for the umpteenth time that day.

"Had no idea you could skate" Kendall said skating up behind Logan.

Logan couldn't believe his luck. Not only was it bad enough he had to deal with people he wanted nothing to do with at school, but now here too the one place he felt free.

"What are you doing here" Logan said annoyed focusing his eyes on the ice.

"Just doing what everyone else does at an ice rink, I came here to skate and to get ready for hockey tryouts" Kendall replied struggling to keep up with the smaller boy.

"Ha-ha very funny, don't you have anything better to do then bother me" Logan said continuing to pick up his speed.

"I'm not trying to bother you Logan, I just want to get to know you, be friends maybe if you just give me the chance" Kendall said still trying his best to skate faster.

"I TOLD YOU I DON'T NEED ANY FRIENDS" Logan screamed and gave all his effort to skate away.

"SLOW DOWN!" Kendall cried out. But it was too late, Logan had already lost his balance and Kendall could do nothing but watch as the small teen fell backwards landing with a thump on the ice below.

"LOGAN, LOGAN" Kendall cried out skating up to the teen who was sprawled out on the ice bleeding from the head, unconscious. Dropping to his knees Kendall cried out for help as he held Logan in his arms whispering to the boy that everything was going to be alright.


End file.
